How To Become Thornless

“While I was conducting experiments to make ‘spineless’ cacti,” he continued, “I often talked to the plants to create a vibration of love. ‘You have nothing to fear,’ I would tell them. ‘You don’t need your defensive thorns. I will protect you.’ Gradually the useful plant of the desert emerged in a thornless variety.” Luther Burbank, as quoted in Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda

Luther Burbank vividly illustrates how he helped to create a type of cactus that no longer needed to have its thorns.

I invite you to reread the quote.  Luther Burbank didn’t just tell the cacti they had nothing to fear.  Luther Burbank promised to protect them from threats.  He showed the cacti he would be consistently be there for them, that he would protect them.  And, over time, the cacti came to believe him and thanked him by creating a thornless variety.

We want to believe that we will be safe within each person who invites us to share an experience of love. We hear someone say the words our hearts want us to hear, and we decide to believe the words are and will be sincere.  And then, more often than not, we learn through experience that we are not safe.  Actions don’t match with words.  Consistent behavior is out the window.  They withdraw, so we withdraw.  Instead of growing something new and glorious, the relationship seeds we planted together die from lack of attention.

It takes enormous courage for someone who has been damaged by others who did not treat them as the precious beings they are to decide to trust once more.  It takes time and effort to understand someone else’s path, and we don’t always make the choice to be curious about all the life events, all the synchronicities, all the little things that led them to us and us to them.  All too often, we mutually make up stories based upon  interpretations of our experiences instead of inviting conscious conversations designed to bring clarity and truth into the connection.  All too often, we judge instead of love.  All too often, we make our needs more important than your needs.  All too often, we choose separation over union.  All too often, we choose not to be mentally and emotionally present, even if we are physically present.  And, all too often, we wonder where the love went.

Each one of us has a choice to make in the way we live our lives.  We can live out of our damage and hurt ourselves and the others who have placed their trust in us, or we can commit to healing our lives and being a force for healing in the lives of others as a way of creating healing in the world.

How often do we ask and answer these questions:

What do I need to know about you to love you better?  Are you willing to learn what I need in order to open to you and receive your love?

What is it like to be you?  Are you willing to learn what it’s like to be me?

How can I help you feel safe?  Are you willing to learn what I need to feel safe?

How can I thank you for the great gift of consent, the great gift of your placing your trust in me?  Are you willing to learn what I need for me to trust you?

Luther Burbank understood that the cacti’s energetic frequency had been distorted in some way, and he took the time to facilitate healing work with the plants that had been entrusted to his care.  He gave them his devotion.  He gave them his love.  He gave them his protection.  And, over time, their frequencies changed.  Instead of being distorted by fear, they opened to being the love they were.  And they thanked him by giving him seemingly miraculous thornless cacti.

What a great teacher of love he was!  And what a great example he is for the rest of us!

What would it take for you to do for your beloved what Luther Burbank did for his beloved cacti?  What would it take for you to really become thornless?  Are you willing to do the personal work to create the possibility of your thornlessness, to help yourself and others feel safe?  And are you willing to be a safe space, a safe space in which those who come your way can choose to match your thornlessness and relax into love?

Start with genuine curiosity, about you and about the other person.  Start with a desire to do things differently this time.  Start with a commitment to learn more about the possibilities of love.  Start with a commitment to watch your reactions to opening to closeness and ask yourself if those reactions reflect your highest response.  Start with a commitment to begin again, if you temporarily lose your way.  And then watch what happens.

Did reading this blog light you up?  Good!  I invite you to visit www.TransformingThroughLove.com and learn about the professional services I offer.   Let’s schedule a free consult to see if we’re a match for each other. 

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