Why devote ourselves to love? Photo by Service1stGraphics

During times of great transition, during times in which we are increasingly concerned about providing life’s necessities for ourselves and our loved ones, does it make sense to distract ourselves from planning for our physical needs to devote ourselves to love?

Let’s ask the same question in a slightly different way.  Is choosing to devote ourselves to loving someone and is choosing to devote ourselves to receiving someone’s love something worth doing during these transitional times?

“Any time not spent on love is wasted.”  Torquato Tasso (1544-1595)

It was five years ago this week that I embarked upon a journey that taught me about the power of love in a way I’d never believed possible.   You can read Laila’s story on my website, http://www.TransformingThroughLove.com.  I believe my decision to devote myself to loving and being loved made the difference in her life, and I am certain my decision to devote myself to loving and being loved made the difference in my life.

I was in the early stages of my recovery from a life-changing stroke.  I felt alone in the world except for my dog who’d just been diagnosed with terminal cancer.  The vet estimated she’d be gone in six weeks.  I was having a difficult time navigating my way through life with a significantly damaged brain and rapidly diminishing funds.  I couldn’t imagine life without my Laila at my side.

I made sure she had the veterinary care she needed.  I felt I had to do more.  I came up with a plan to devote myself to giving her all the love and support I’d needed but hadn’t often received during the years of caregiving for my mother after her traumatic brain injury, lots of deaths and personal losses, and life-changing illness.

At that point, it was easy to throw in with love.  My brain no longer did what I needed it to do.   I couldn’t think my way out of her cancer.  All I could do was love whatever it was we had in that moment, not knowing how many more moments we would share.

When we are gifted with someone or something to love, we are gifted with the opportunity to transform our world.  If you go along with the idea that all relationship is meant to help all concerned transform through love, it follows that we are in relationship with everything all the time.  And if we are in relationship with everything all the time, will you choose to do whatever is in your power to transform your part of the world?  One transformation leads to another and another and another.  Pass it on.

The enormous tumor vanished and never returned.  Laila passed from issues related to old age two years later.  Through loving her with everything I had and through doing my best to live in the miracle zone called love, my health improved and continues to improve.

Through loving her with everything I had, I made new friends.  Stroke damage had caused me to increasingly isolate myself from the world.  It was a lot easier to isolate than it was to keep asking for the help and understanding that didn’t always come in the ways I needed.

It takes flexibility, empathy, a willingness to learn, humility, and great love and kindness to interact with a stroke survivor who has sustained significant brain damage.  I believe most people might be capable of doing this, but I’m not sure I believe most people are willing to set aside their way of being in the world to partner with someone whose brain works differently than theirs. 

When one is devoted to love, it’s much easier to set aside your way of being in the world to powerfully be there for another.  Love has the power to gently dissolve obstacles.  When one is devoted to anything other than love, starting with fear and including its cousins ego, separation, denial et al., it’s much more difficult to do this.

The new friends helped me not feel so alone in the world.  The more I felt I was part of the world once more, the more my health transformed. 

Love is the greatest healer I’ve ever known.  What is the greatest healer you’ve ever known?

Through loving Laila with everything I had, I was blessed with the privilege of living with increasing evidence of the power of love.  She was in pain and greatly weakened when the vet diagnosed the cancer.   With each person who prayed for her, with each person who spent time loving on her, with each person who chose to believe in the power of love instead of the power of death, she grew a little stronger.  She was a very happy girl who was living a very blessed life, with or without cancer.

She was back to pulling me behind her on our walks by the end of the first month.  By the end of the first month, without her undergoing traditional cancer treatment, the vet was unable to palpate the tumor.

It was one of the most inspiring times of my life.  It may sound strange to say I have beautiful memories of my dog’s experience with cancer.  I can understand that.  If you’d experienced what we’d experienced, if you’d experienced all the love and support that flowed to us, if you’d experienced living in the miracle zone along with us, you might see it differently.  The miracles that came our way were plentiful and gorgeous.  The more we lived in love, the more miracles we experienced.  We always had whatever it was we needed, even when it didn’t seem likely to show up. 

Nearly three years after my dog’s passing, neighbors continue to stop me during my solo walks.  They tell me they remember the loving connection we shared.  They tell me our loving connection touched their hearts in ways they never expected their hearts to be touched.

I don’t remember most of these people.  The stroke took out a lot of my memory, so the people I met during those early years aren’t necessarily people I recall today.  But they remember Laila, and they remember our connection.  Their remembering our connection touches my heart in return, whether or not I remember their supporting us at the time.

Let’s get back to our original question:

If you are going through transitional times, why would you want to devote yourself to love?

I invite you to consider what you’ve just read before you answer:

Why devote yourself to anything other than love?

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