How do we comfort the survivors of a loved one’s brutal murder?
How do we comfort the survivors of a loved one’s brutal murder?
Sharing this for those who grieve:
A member of my family was murdered during a home invasion many years ago. The details of the crime were so shocking the story made the national news. I was a young child when it happened, I don’t remember any of it, and I have no memories of who she’d been. All I remember hearing was that she’d been a quiet housewife who kept to herself.
I felt a sudden nudge to research her death several years ago. The case was never solved, and I’m still healing from what I learned.
What do we say to comfort the survivors of someone who was brutalized to death? Do we even have useful words to share with the family of someone who was brutalized to death?
I recently discovered a condolence note that had been written to part of the family by the spiritual leader of their congregation.
The rabbi, a man who was one of the most magnetic speakers of his day, wrote that there are times in life in which there are no words to address the emotional devastation that accompanies horrific crimes that have been perpetrated upon a loved one. The rabbi said he would keep the family in prayer and hoped that time would help ease their pain.
I appreciated the respect shown in his brief note. I was relieved to see he wasn’t looking for a higher meaning for her murder. He made the choice to write from his heart, not his head. He knew the family had been devastated, and he honored where they were with the devastation.
What do we say in the aftermath of a massacre? Why not begin with “I don’t know what to say, what words I might have that might bring you comfort, but I am there for you?”
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